The B-Man rant

  Holey shit fuck nuggets of flaming joy and madness amazing insanity tinged by dreams of mad men and condensed beauty all covered in dust!

     So back from my chosen Neverland known as burning man. Suffice to say I've had another wonderful experience, in fact many, all squashed into a single week. To try and describe burning man to someone who hasn't been there is like trying to explain color to someone who's been blind from birth. I am mealy trying to sift through the indescribable event and separate my experience from the playa dust that has seeped into the very essence of my being.

     First off the man burnt early this year, but we all burnt him again. On Tuesday some guy climbed up on the man and set off a firework that caught and torched the thing. Apparently he wasn't just drunk he had a point. Last year his art car (an "Art Car" is any contraption that motors it's way around the playa, often shooting flames and invariably covered in lights. Everything from pirate ships to and actual eight legged walking robot) was burned and the state wouldn't prosecute because of the nature of the event, so he lit the man on fire to see if he would be prosecuted thus shining a light upon the disparity of justice.

     It fucking rained! It doesn't often rain in the middle of the Black Rock Desert, Nevada. Well at least very rarely in the summer (in winter the playa is a mud pit). However, the rain itself was not the truly amazing part the double rainbow stretching across the entire city was, incredibly intense and beautiful. What's more is the type of people who go to burning man really appreciated it. Imaging a city of 50,000 people (roughly the total population of black rock city this year), at the sight of a rainbow, taking to the streets and singing, praying, screaming, or staring in utter awe at the appearance of a rainbow. It's a lovely experience. Also you get a similar effect at the sun rises and sun sets although each one of those is more like 15,000 people in praise. Additionally on Tuesday morning there was a lunar eclipse between 2:30 and 3:00 am the just happened to be a total lunar eclipse, and again similar praise and the dissidents gave similar amazement.

     Another particular point of interest was at Thunderdome (Yeah the thunderdome from mad max is at burning man, they strap people up in a bungee harness and have them beat the crap out of each other with padded swords), before the normal Thunderdome events started there were a woman and her team doing suspension work. I'm talking hooks through the flesh here folks, total pain junkie she was. Any way I get there just after they've got all the hooks in, the woman is sitting in a folding chair with six suspension hooks in across her chest. I also see something on her back but I can't really see what the arrangement is. After the slow process of lifting her into the air from the hooks in her chest, and a number of beautiful acrobatics whilst dangling from them I see her whip out a knife. (On any decent suspension rig the hooks are roped with a single piece of rope, this way if one rope breaks the person doesn't drop to a single hook and rip out.) Then I suddenly understand the apparatus in her back, as she reached up to cut the rope holding her chest up time slowed, it was excruciatingly slow. Just before the line snapped you could feel the collective cringe of the audience, and then she dropped, tumbling slightly as the rope unraveled, catching at last upon four hooks through her upper back. The drop was about four feet of height total. Yet the show didn't end there, (frankly I'm amazed she was conscious at this point) she swung back and fourth and bounced up and down from her back while little rivulets of blood caressed her body. At one point her handler (the guy who puts the hooks in and keeps things sterile and whatnot) hung from her legs and he was easily 200 lbs or more. Then the finally, which was not planned, she was bouncing up and down when the second rope, woven through the back hooks snapped. She fell 10 feet and landed hard on the ground, but true to form as a performer she stood up and took a bow.

     People and nature were far from all that was at burning man. For instance there was a piece of are out on the playa called "The Big Rig Jig" that consisted of two complete trucks with oil tanker trailers, each twisted into a semi circle, one hung atop the other stood vertically into the air.
     There was an animated sculpture that consisted of a bunch of monkeys and snakes on a large spinning contraption powered by people on exercise bikes and drums. When you got enough people riding the exercise bikes and people playing drums the whole thing would spin around. The way the monkeys and snakes were arranged it looked like the monkeys swung between the branches of the structure while the snakes wriggled up the branch and into the monkeys' mouth. This effect could be enhanced, by looking through masks that had a shutter flicker in them or at night there was a strobe light lighting the thing.
     Another project of interest was the steam punk tree house designed by the same person who did the set design for the movie "City of Lost Children" (which you all should see if you haven't). It stood about two stories tall and was a tree house made out of metal with a giant tire swing, and all about the branches were various steam powered contraptions and whistles, which could controlled by a system of levers inside the tree house itself all powered by a portable boiler.
     To boot my friend Sam
Artfull Dodger
had his piece "Wings of Desire" set up way out on the playa. They are a set of giant metal and stained glass wings with chromed wing ridges, and a wingspan of about 12 ft. They looked fabulous in the moonlight and at sunrise. I could go on about just the art projects but it goes on and on and on.

     Last but certainly not least Fire. Lots and lots of fire. Lots and lots and lots of fire. For instance one night I was just wandering around and in the midst of some flaming cacti (metal frames with a series of tiny holes in vertical lines over the surface, with propane fire pumped through them so that flames shot out the holes like little spines) was the fire organ. I wouldn't call it musical as such but it is a functional organ based on fire being forced through a system of pipes and shooting out the end. A transvestite holding an electric keyboard with radio control to the organ played the contraption. Oh yeah1 the organ was mounted on an art car and drove around at night.
     Of course The Man of burning man burned this year, they'd managed to get a new one up only 72 hours after the first on burnt, stories vary on where the man came from but he was there to burn again. Everyone there participates in this event, before the man burns popper there is the largest gathering of fire dancers on earth all performing at once around the Man. After that there is an incredible fireworks display, this time culminating in a fireball, of about 100 gallons of propane being lit at once, engulfing the pyre and the man in flames. Once the man collapses somewhat the fire team lets people in closer and the mob of humanity dances fore hours in mass celebration. Periodically throwing bits of oddments prayers and other things into the flames.
      It gets better though, this year there was a large wooden tower built stylized like an old oil derrick. On the same night after the Man burnt and another shocking fireworks display, up through the middle of the derrick was shot 2007 flaming gallons of propane and jet fuel. This initiated with about 800 gallons of it being shot up into the air as a single fire ball reaching heights of 600 ft or higher. The Guinness book of world records was there to record this because apparently it was the largest single release of propane ever. (Burning man holds a couple of world records like the worlds largest group hug).
     The following night the temple burns. This structure varies somewhat in design each year, but this is truly the place to send off your prayers. There even sharpies provided so that one can write directly onto the structure. This year it was shaped with a pseudo Japanese gateway feel. I was a little late to see it start but that was perfect. The temple was just about a mile and a half from center camp and there was a row of lamps lining the road out to the temple and as we were walking the temple lit, also there was a pretty solid dust storm going on (in case you haven't figured it out Burning Man in an incredibly dusty event being out on the playa and all. You need to carry a dust mask and goggles at all times just in case a dust storm kicks up). The combined elements of the straight road lined with lamps leading to a flaming temple while the dust swirled about has been burned into my mind as one of the most amazing sites I have ever seen. I was AWEsome in the true sense of the word. The temple had become a doorway to some ethereal realm, as compelling frightening and welcoming as the gates of death or dreams. I am an emotional creature but I was moved to the utmost by the sight they stretched out before me, and as my eyes began to tear at the sight of utter beauty that laid out before me, I could have sworn that I could see the prayers and hopes and dreams of the people rising into the sky with the smoke and dust. Loves lost, hopes shattered, all transformed into new beginnings by the living heat, fire, liking devouring and transforming, all that was given to the temple by the people.

I could go on further about Burning Man what it is and my experiences at it but like I said at the start, it is simply indescribable.



P.S.
I got to dance to Paul Oakenfold, BaseNectar, and rabbit in the moon all spinning live at various stages and tents around burning man. I'm sure there were more famous ones but these were the ones I remember figuring out.